Best Tips for Healthy Parenting
A good parent tries to act in the child's best interest while making decisions. The parent's intention is just as important as their actions in defining what makes a wonderful parent. A good parent need not be a perfect parent. Nobody is flawless. No kid is flawless, either. It's crucial that we keep this in mind when establishing our goals.
Aiming for perfection is not necessary for successful parenting. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't make progress toward it. Set high expectations for ourselves first, then for our kids. We act as significant examples for them.
Be open and listen
Allow your child to talk freely. Ask them open questions and find out how much they already know.
Always answer their questions truthfully. Think about how old your child is and how much they can understand.
Your child may be scared or confused. Give them space to share how they are feeling and let them know you are there for them.
It is OK not to know the answers
It is fine to say “We don’t know, but we are working on it; or we don’t know, but we think.” Use this as an opportunity to learn something new with your child!
Heroes not Bullies
Explain that COVID-19 has nothing to do with the way someone looks, where they are from, or what language they speak. Tell your child that we can be compassionate to people who are sick and those who are caring for them. Look for stories of people who are working to stop the outbreak and are caring for sick people.
There are a lot of stories going around
Some may not be true. Use trustworthy sites like UNICEF and the World Health Organization.
End on a good note
Check to see if your child is okay. Remind them that you care and that they can talk to you anytime. Then do something fun together!
One-On-One Time During Covid-19
Can’t go to work? Schools closed? Worried about money? It is normal to feel stressed and overwhelmed.
School shutdown is also a chance to make better relationships with our children and teenagers. One-on-One time is free and fun. It makes children feel loved and secure and shows them that they are important.
Set aside time to spend with each child
It can be for just 20 minutes, or longer – it’s up to us. It can be at the same time each day so children or teenagers can look forward to it.
Ask your child what they would like to do
Choosing builds their self-confidence. If they want to do something that isn’t OK with physical distancing, then this is a chance to talk with them about this.
Ideas with your baby/toddler
Copy their facial expression and sounds.
Sing songs, make music with pots and spoons.
Stack cups or blocks.
Tell a story, read a book or share pictures.
Ideas with your young child
Read a book or look at pictures.
Make drawings with crayons or pencils.
Dance to music or sing songs!
Do a chore together – make cleaning and cooking a game
Help with school work.
Ideas with your teenager
Talk about something they like: sports, music, celebrities, friends.
Cook a favorite meal together.
Exercise together to their favorite music.
Listen to them, look at them. Give them your full attention. Have fun!
Keeping it positive during the coronavirus outbreak
It‘s hard to feel positive when our kids or teenagers are driving us crazy. We often end up saying “Stop doing that!”. But children are much more likely to do what we ask if we give them positive instructions and lots of praise for what they do right.
Say the behaviour you want to see
Use positive words when telling your child what to do; like "Please put your clothes away" (instead of "Don’t make a mess").
It’s all in the delivery
Shouting at your child will just make you and them more stressed and angrier. Get your child’s attention by using their name. Speak in a calm voice.
Praise your child when they are behaving well
Try praising your child or teenager for something they have done well. They may not show it, but you’ll see them doing that good thing again. It will also reassure them that you notice and care.
Can your child actually do what you are asking them? It is very hard for a child to keep quiet inside for a whole day but maybe they can keep quiet for 15 minutes while you are on a call.
Help your teen stay connected
Teens especially need to be able to communicate with their friends. Help your teen connect through social media and other safe distancing ways. This is something you can do together, too!
COVID-19 has taken away our daily work, home and school routines. This is hard for children, teenagers and for you. Making new routines can help.
Create a flexible but consistent daily routine
Make a schedule for you and your children that has time for structured activities as well as free time. This can help children feel more secure and better behaved.
Children or teenagers can help plan the routine for the day – like making a school timetable. Children will follow this better if they help to make it.
Include exercise each day - this helps with stress and kids with lots of energy at home.
Teach your child about keeping safe distances
If it is OK in your country, get children outside.
You can also write letters and draw pictures to share with people. Put them up outside your home for others to see!
You can reassure your child by talking about how you are keeping safe.
Listen to their suggestions and take them seriously.
Make handwashing and hygiene fun
Make a 20-second song for washing hands. Add actions!
Give children points and praise for regular handwashing.
Make a game to see how few times we can touch our faces with a reward for the least number of touches (you can count for each other).
You are a model for your child’s behavior
If you practice keeping safe distances and hygiene yourself, and treat others with compassion, especially those who are sick or vulnerable – your children and teenagers will learn from you.
At the end of each day, take a minute to think about the day. Tell your child about one positive or fun thing they did. Praise yourself for what you did well today. You are a star!
Learning through play
Millions of children face school closure and isolation in their own home. This tip is about learning through play – something that can be fun for all ages!
Types of play
There are so many different types of play that can be both fun AND educational.
Language, numbers, objects, drama and music games give children opportunities to explore and express themselves in a safe and fun way.
Create a dance choreography to your children’s favourite songs. One person does a dance move and everyone else copies. Everyone takes turns being the leader.
“Challenge” who can do the most toe touches – jumping jacks, windmill toe touches in a minute.
“Mirror” each other – facial expressions, movements, sounds. One person can start as the leader and then switch. Try it with no leaders!
Freeze dance: Play music or someone sings a song, and everyone dances. When the music stops, everyone must freeze. Last person still dancing becomes the judge for the next round.
Animal dance: Same as above but when the music stops, call out a name of an animal, and everyone has to become that animal.
Tell your children a story from your own childhood.
Ask your children to tell you a story.
Make up a new story together starting with “Once upon a time…” Each person adds a new sentence to the story.
Act out a favorite story or movie – older children can even direct younger ones while learning responsibility.
Change the object
Everyday household items like brooms, mops or scarves can become fun props for games.
Place an object in the centre of the room and whenever someone has an idea, they jump in and show the rest what the object can be.
For example, a broom might become a horse or a microphone or even a guitar!
First person says, “When COVID-19 lockdown ends, I am going to… (e.g., go to the park)”.
Second person adds to first person, “When COVID-19 lockdown ends, I am going to the park and… (e.g., visit my best friend)”.
Each person adds to the previous trying to think of all of the fun things to do when COVID-19 lockdown ends.
Singing songs to your baby helps to develop language.
Play or sing a song, and the first one to guess it right becomes the next leader.
Make up a song about handwashing or physical distancing. Add dance movements!
Keeping children safe online during COVID-19
Children and teens are now spending a lot more time online. Being connected helps them reduce the impact of COVID-19 and encourages them to continue with their lives…but it also presents risks and dangers.
Adults targeting children for sexual purposes on social media, gaming, and messaging platforms.
Harmful content – violence, misogyny, xenophobia, inciting suicide and self-harm, misinformation, etc.
Teens sharing personal information and sexual photos or videos of themselves.
Cyberbullying from peers and strangers.
Tech fixes to protect your children online
Set up parental controls.
Turn on SafeSearch on your browser.
Set up strict privacy settings on online apps and games.
Cover webcams when not in use.
Create healthy and safe online habits
Involve your child or teen in creating family tech agreements about healthy device use.
Create device-free spaces and times in your house (eating, sleeping, and playing, schoolwork).
Help your children learn how to keep personal information private, especially from strangers – some people are not who they say they are!
Remind your children that what goes online stays online (messages, photos, and videos).
Spend time with your child or teen online
Explore websites, social media, games, and apps together.
Talk to your teen on how to report inappropriate content (see below).
Common Sense Media has great advice for apps, games and entertainment for different ages.
Keep your children safe with open communication
Tell your children that if they experience something online that makes them feel upset, uncomfortable, or scared, they can talk to you and you will not get mad or punish them.
Be alert to signs of distress. Notice if your child is being withdrawn, upset, secretive, or obsessed with online activities.
Create trusting relationships and open communication through positive support and encouragement.
Note that every child is unique and may use different ways to communicate. Take time to adjust your message for your child's. needs. For example, children with learning disabilities, may require information in simple format.
Family harmony at home
When we model peaceful and loving relationships, our children feel more secure and loved. Positive language, active listening and empathy help maintain a peaceful and happy family environment during these stressful times.
We are models for our kids
How we talk and behave in front of others is a big influence on how they behave too!
Try to talk kindly to everyone in the family, adults and children.
Bad communication between adults in the household can have a negative impact on our children.
The more we practice modelling peaceful, loving relationships for our children the more secure and loved they will feel.
Use positive language. It works!
Tell others what you want them to do instead of what you don’t want them to do: Instead of “Stop shouting,” try “Please speak more quietly”.
Praise makes others feel appreciated and good about themselves. Simple words like, “Thank you for clearing the dinner,” or “Thank you for watching the baby” can make a big difference.
Nice things to do together as a family
Let each family member take turns to choose a whole-family activity each day.
Find ways to spend quality time with your partner and other adults in your home, too!
Be an empathetic active listener
Listen to others when they are talking with you.
Be open and show them that you hear what they are saying.
It can help to even summarize what you have heard before responding: “What I hear you saying is…”.
Share the load
Looking after children and other family members is difficult, but it’s much easier when responsibilities are shared.
Try to share household chores, childcare, and other tasks equally among family members.
Create a schedule for time “on” and time “off” with other adults in your household.
It is okay to ask for help when you are feeling tired or stressed, so that you can take a break.
Feeling stressed or angry?
Give yourself a 10-second pause. Breathe in and out slowly five times. Then try to respond in a calmer way. Millions of parents say this helps - A LOT!
Call a truce when you can see arguments building up, and go into another room or outside if you can.
See more information on “when we get angry” and “keep calm and manage stress”.
Keep calm and manage stress from COVID-19
This is a stressful time. Take care of yourself, so you can support your children.
You are not alone
Millions of people have the same fears as us. Find someone who you can talk to about how you are feeling. Listen to them. Avoid social media that makes you feel panicked.
Take a break
We all need a break sometimes. When your children are asleep, do something fun or relaxing for yourself. Make a list of healthy activities that YOU like to do. You deserve it!
Listen to your kids
Be open and listen to your children. Your children will look to you for support and reassurance. Listen to your children when they share how they are feeling. Accept how they feel and give them comfort.
Take a pause
Here's a one-minute relaxation activity that you can do whenever you are feeling stressed or worried.
Step 1: Set up
Find a comfortable sitting position, your feet flat on the floor, your hands resting in your lap.
Close your eyes if you feel comfortable.
Step 2: Think, feel, body
Ask yourself, “What am I thinking now?”
Notice your thoughts. Notice if they are negative or positive.
Notice how you feel emotionally. Notice if your feelings are happy or not.
Notice how your body feels. Notice anything that hurts or is tense.
Step 3: Focus on your breath
Listen to your breath as it goes in and out.
You can put a hand on your stomach and feel it rise and fall with each breath.
You may want to say to yourself “It’s okay. Whatever it is, I am okay.”
Then just listen to your breath for a while.
Step 4: Coming back
Notice how your whole body feels.
Listen to the sounds in the room.
Step 5: Reflecting
Think ‘do I feel different at all?’.
When you are ready, open your eyes. Be open and listen to your children. Your children will look to you for support and reassurance. Listen to your children when they share how they are feeling. Accept how they feel and give them comfort.
Taking a pause can also be helpful when you find your child is irritating you or has done something wrong. It gives you a chance to be calmer. Even a few deep breaths or connecting with the feeling of the floor beneath can make a difference. You can also take a pause with your children!
All children misbehave. It is normal when children are tired, hungry, afraid, or learning independence. And they can drive us crazy when stuck at home.
Catch bad behavior early and redirect your kids’ attention from a bad to a good behavior.
Stop it before it starts! When they start to get restless, you can distract with something interesting or fun: “Come, let’s play a game together!”
Take a pause
Feel like screaming? Give yourself a 10-second pause. Breathe in and out slowly five times. Then try to respond in a calmer way. Millions of parents say this helps - A LOT!
Consequences help teach our children responsibility for what they do. They also allow discipline that is controlled. This is more effective than hitting or shouting.
Give your child a choice to follow your instruction before giving them the consequence.
Try to stay calm when giving the consequence.
Make sure you can follow through with the consequence. For example, taking away a teenager’s phone for a week is hard to enforce.Taking it away for one hour is more realistic.
Once the consequence is over, give your child a chance to do something good, and praise them for it.
One-on-One time, praise for being good, and consistent routines will reduce bad behaviour.
Give your children and teens simple jobs with responsibilities. Just make sure it is something they are able to do. And praise them when they do it!
When we get angry
We love our children and teenagers, but the stresses of COVID-19, money and lockdown can make us angry. Here is how we can maintain control and manage our anger so we do not hurt others.
Brain science shows if you control your anger or do something positive you increase your child’s brain development. That’s real success!
Stop the river at the source
The same things usually make us get stressed and angry every time.
What makes you angry? When does it happen? How do you normally react?
Prevent it from starting. If it happens when you are tired, get some sleep or rest. If it’s hunger, try to be sure you can eat. If it’s feeling alone, ask someone for support.
Look after yourself. Check the "take a pause" and "managing stress" tips for ideas.
Take a break
When you start feeling angry, take a 20-second cool down. Breathe in and out slowly 5 times before you speak or move.
Go somewhere else for 10 minutes to regain control of your emotions. If you have safe outdoor space, go outside.
If it’s a baby that won’t stop crying, it’s OK to leave them safely on their back and walk away for a bit. Call someone to calm you down. Check on them every 5-10 minutes.
Take care of yourself
We all need to connect. Talk to friends, family, and other support networks every day.
Cut back on drinking or don’t drink, especially when the kids are awake.
Do you have weapons or things that can be used to hit others? Lock them up, hide them or take them out of the home.
If it’s not safe for them at home it is OK for children to go out to get help or stay somewhere else for a while.
The COVID-19 crisis isn't forever - we just have to get through it now...one day at a time.
Family Budgeting In Times Of Financial Stress
Millions are stressed about money because of COVID-19. It can make us feel exhausted, angry, and distracted. Children or teenagers asking for things can cause arguments. But we can do things that help cope with financial stress.
Involve children and teens in making a family budget
A budget is how we decide what we will spend our money on, even in stressful times.
Making a budget together helps children understand that we all need to make hard decisions in difficult times.
It also helps families to have enough at the end of the month and borrow less.
What do we spend now?
Get a piece of paper (or old newspaper or a cardboard box) and a pen.
Draw pictures of all the things that you and your family spend money on each month.
Write next to each picture how much each thing costs.
Add up how much money you have each month to spend.
Talk about needs and wants
Needs: Which things are important or must have for your family to survive? (like food, soap to wash hands, needs for family members with an illness or disability)
Wants: Which things are nice to have but not essential?
Discuss with your children what things you could try to spend less on.
Build your own budget
Find a bag of stones or anything with lots of pieces. This is your money for the month.
As a family, decide what you will spend on what, and put the stones on your picture.
If you can save even a tiny amount for the future, or for another emergency – it is great!
Find out if there is help you can get
Your government may be giving money, or food parcels to families during COVID-19.
Ask about whether places in your community are giving support.
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